21st century love story

She was making the eyes at me and
when she did she
discovered I'd made mine a while back and
she liked it

I could tell because her teeth spoke volumes
and I've read every one of them
They only expose their pointy whiteness
when her pink lemonade lips formed
a smile that said "sex"

She doesn't turn heads
she spins them, overturns chairs, tables
shattered glass from spilled drinks sparkle
Mouths now ashtrays, gray from drought
I can smell female jealousy
like a sour musk that wafts and hovers and
gets blood to all the right areas, fast

I beam, I throb with, I exude
frenzy by way of libido
Swirling anxiety whirlwinds through me and
I grin greedily but
I don't bear it
Bearing implies a burden and
this burden I caress in veneration

For the glutinous, unyielding present
I employ seconds as punctuation
Time forks suddenly, presenting a logical dyad:

1. I can fight this
force fortitude into quivering lungs and
steel timid senses to spite my passions

2. I can tumbleweed with it
straight to hell with apprehension and
strangle my serpentine doubt

At last we escape into darkness and
there is warmth and softness
Texture in regard to a nude body:
"You are tender and
you possess a beautiful strength but
my God you are tender in ways
that utterly overwhelm me"

We are fused on a continuum
Here things undone in the past and
our many heavy lidded regrets
are thoroughly corrected
That is why we share a power
why we hold each other so tightly
Our fear of loss keeps us honest

Her eyes are ferocious as
she searches me for answers
"Why now?"
I don't understand myself as
flesh envelops flesh
an intimate inertia pushes us deeper
into each other
The only words I could muster:
"This was a long time coming"

sunshine

People are silly. Really, just watch the things they do. I've started doing this. When I get pissed, I go somewhere very public, which'll stop me from bitching, brooding, or calling someone to yell at them. After being in this public place I start to look at people. At first I'm just like "are you fucking kidding me?" then its like "wow, they're really not kidding", even if its the dumbest thing in the world. Today it was a lady making a scene at Taco Bell because her nachos weren't "supreme" enough. So I sat there in my booth, face in hands, smiling to myself.

One of the main reasons I settle for shit mexican food at this fine establishment is for a few minutes I get to converse with a sweet kid that works there. She's around my age, but I could be completely off. The first thing that strikes you about this girl is how happy she is. I mean genuinely, absurdly happy. Her smile takes up her entire face, and her eyes shine just as bright. It's only until you talk to her that you notice, she has a mental handicap. Now I'm not an expert on intellectual disabilities, so I can't say if her handicap was from birth or from an acute condition, but its easy to see that what she lacks in social awareness and speech capabilities she makes up for in vibrancy. Everyone knows her by name and adores her, truly a courageous kid.

So as I was sitting in my booth today, observing the supreme nacho conflict, my new friend walked over to me and inquired about my ipod. I smiled and offered her the ear buds, and as she slipped them in her ears I browsed for "Sunshine" by Matt Costa and pressed play. I studied her face as she listened curiously, her smile growing brighter by the second. She's never going to have goals like we do. She doesn't want to be some big time writer. Couldn't care less about being accepted. Yet, she's happy, because she lives in the right now, the present, and in her simple capabilites she's only aware of one feeling we all take for granted, Love. Love for people, love for music, love for just being alive and getting another chance to live your path. While some of us with far greater potential make a stink of our existence, from dwelling on the past and future and disregarding what's really important, this girl already lives her life to the fullest and her happiness is proof of it. Hats off to you kid, you're sick pimpness.

It's amazing the things you can learn from just observing people.